if you’ve got any great theories on why an abuse victim might be lying about their abuse, write them down, put that envelope in the toilet, pee all over it, and flush it down ‘cause I hear the lizard people who live in the sewers love reading that shit and LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT
haha, that’s a classic, the second place is a Wendigo with Wolverine claws :D
Sorry, but I don’t have anything of the same kind of embarrassment, I’m just boring like that :( I started roleplaying when I was about 17, so I guess my most obnoxious phase was over by then. My most embarrassing stories are about me as DM interacting with players. The most painful was my first ever DnD campaign that started my elf-phobia, but the most awkward I guess was my first crossover in WoD that turned into a soap opera.
It started as a normal Changeling: The Dreaming campaign, and I had this Sidhe (closest thing is elves) prince, who was kinda an unwilling villain. Like, he was under a curse or smth, basically he was made to do bad shit to the party against his own will. I was gonna have him betray the party, but then at the climatic moment rebel against his curse and choose death over this enslavement. And he was gorgeous of course, because Sidhe’s rulebook description downright says that Sidhe are the hottest pieces of ass you can ever imagine and they all have anime eyes and hair (my guy was really modest actually, he only had black hair and amethyst eyes.)
And one of the players was a very lively, impressionable and expressive girl, and she was that type of people who don’t roleplay a character, they always play themselves in character’s form, so when something happened to her char you could see her own emotions all over her face. Her char in this game was a boggan girl (basically a hobbit) named Mel and she fell in love with this Sidhe dude (I never remember names of my OCs so he’s gonna be just Sidhe). I didn’t see that coming AT ALL. Like, few times when he confronted the party, they exchanged a little bit of sarcastic flirting that she initiated, but it was nothing big.
And then at this dramatic moment when he’s ready to sacrifice himself, she springs up to her feet and screams “No, don’t do it! I love you!” Literally, she herself does that, not her character. Everyone’s jaw drops and I panic and start ramble, like “But I betrayed you, you and your friends could die because of me…” And she’s all “I don’t care! It wasn’t your fault! I will free you!” And then her boyfriend, who btw sat right beside her, goes “But… what about me?” because their characters were in relationship too. And she’s all “I’m sorry, but I love him, I can’t help it!” And then he looks at me and my boyfriend stares at me, and I just sit there, panicking in the middle of the most awkward love-pentagram ever.
So after that they all go to free Sidhe, because the rest of the party is too shocked and amused to resist Mel. And her bf walks up to me and goes “Wtf, are you trying to steal my girlfriend? Kill that motherfucker off!” And I’m like “ok, ok, dude, chill out”, so I make Sidhe die. And then Mel starts crying, I mean, actually sobbing violently. So I panic and go “NO NO NO, don’t cry, he’s gonna be ok, we can bring him back, there are ways, it’s gonna be ok just please stop crying”.
So yeah, after that they all go on quest to resurrect Sidhe, and the plot of my campaign is completely botched, so when my players ask me if we can do crossover with other lines of WoD, I’m just “yeah, sure, whatever”. So I just used that Sidhe as a Dude in Distress to give party a formal motivation. Poor guy went through fucking everything - kidnapping, curses, all kinds of torture, demonic possession, amnesia, mind-control, turning into an object, soul-swapping. Basically every time he was rescued, they’ve got like few minutes of cheesy dialog and then he’d be fucked up again. Like, one time they stood on a sea shore and Mel started describing a french kiss out loud, and it’s sooo awkward, I panic and go “AND THEN THE PTERODACTYL FLIES BY AND STEALS SIDHE AWAY IN ITS CLAWS”. My friends made fun of me for years because of that - “time for a PTERODACTYL COCKBLOCK”. If it’s not one of the most embarrassing things you can experience as DM, I don’t know what is.
Come to think of it, we kinda unintentionally subverted the “plain ordinary guy falls in love with very special beautiful girl and keeps saving her”. We even had “Princess Peach is in another castle!” moment, when Mel fights her way to Sidhe, but it’s not actually him, because one Nosferatu swapped their souls and now Sidhe is in the ugly vampire body :D
So yeah, this whole campaign was basically a girl hobbit’s crusade through the whole World of Darkness for her pretty boy’s ass.